Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Oh Fine, I'll Go There: Ferguson

As an adult, I've never paid for TV service.  Ever.  For the most part that's because I don't usually care what's on TV, though it's also closely tied to the fact that I'm so tight my appendix squeaks.  (Random side note: If you ever need spare cash, it's a great idea to ransack my house.  Since childhood I've been known to stash coins and bills in every conceivable nook.  I'm a hoarder of money.  It's a disease. Pity me.)  Currently we have an antenna in our attic, which streams just enough free channels to keep up with Downton Abbey come January.  I wish that I'd taken the simple step of turning on a news channel last night instead of following the Ferguson mess through a news station's Twitter feed.  Why?  Oh, why?  I made my bed.  Now I must curl up into the fetal position and cry myself to sleep on it with the following lessons learned...

1) Twitter makes me ashamed of the whole human race (to bum a phrase from Huck Finn).  Death threats.  Monkey emoticons.  Race bait cannonballs lobbed from every direction.  Incredible ignorance.  Frightening malice.  This is what humanity seems to be in 140 characters or less #nofilter.

2) Our legal system has never been perfect.  Juries are not perfect.  I'd still far and away rather face a jury of my peers who have to sit and listen to evidence than fall prey to society's heir apparent: trial by social media.  More thinking, less typing people!

3)  "If you don't agree, then just unfollow me right now."  (Because, you know, we should only ever interact with people who share our exact view point.  That will solve our societal divides!  Also, I'm still in Jr. High and you're off my friend list.)

4) "Ugh.  No one cares about Ferguson.  Why are you interrupting Dancing With the Stars?" Or, in the words of Ani DiFranco,  "What kind of scale compares the weight of two beauties, the gravity of duties...tell me, what kind of equation could I possibly employ?"  I mean, really.  It's pretty tough to decide between two critically important things.  Nah.  Just kidding.  Who needs civil rights with the mirrorball trophy on the line? 

5) We've go a LONG way to go before humanity can claim to have built a single CIVILization.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Sleeping in Hotels With Jude

It's the worst.  No matter what we do.  Something of a misnomer as well, as Eden is the only one who actually sleeps.  Kris and I take turns pacing the floor with a flailing, terrified, sobbing, 30 pound toddler.  And then we take turns driving around whatever town we're in.  All night long.  Love the boy.  Hate the nights.     

So I'm not quite sure how we worked up the guts to brave Ebola and sleeping in a hotel with Jude (mostly the latter) to take a little vacation to Dallas a few weeks ago.  I guess I just really wanted the kids to see a real zoo and I was pretty desperate to get to the temple.

Jude loved the penguins and the ultra close giraffes, but was largely unimpressed with almost everything else.  He spent most of his time eating animal crackers in the stroller or splashing around in the stream at the kid's area.  So, win.

Eden discovered her heaven on earth.  I love this picture.  First she shook the statue's hand, then she pulled a classic Eden move and went for the baby.  This girl was born to have twelve babies.  (In fact, she often has at least half that many at home, all needing fed, changed, rocked and loved.  Her pretend world is a busy place!) 

See that look on Kris's face?  That wasn't for Eden's sake.  The man was giddy in his own right to be hugging a bronze monkey. 

We had a marvelous time at both zoo and temple and also did not contract Ebola.  We did still wind up sleeping in a hotel with Jude.  It was as awful as we thought it would be; I don't think we'll try it again for a long while.  I leave you with this tortoise, a Master Oogway if you will, reminding us all to seek inner peace. (Not to belabor the point, but you won't find it in a hotel with Jude.  That is all.)